https://massivelyop.com MMORPG news and opinions Sat, 22 Apr 2023 03:48:15 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.1 https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/22/wrup-the-show-must-go-on-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/22/wrup-the-show-must-go-on-edition/#comments Sat, 22 Apr 2023 14:00:48 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=436727 They hurt you, and they left you afraid, and then they simply left you. And that’s where you were at the moment that something began to change. It was the first of many transformations. At the time, it was difficult to articulate in any coherent fashion. You saw yourself as failing. But you were learning […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/22/wrup-the-show-must-go-on-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/15/wrup-football-season-was-over-a-couple-months-ago-and-it-wont-start-again-for-a-while-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/15/wrup-football-season-was-over-a-couple-months-ago-and-it-wont-start-again-for-a-while-edition/#comments Sat, 15 Apr 2023 14:00:53 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=435670 No more games. No more good games. No more bombs. No more heroes. No more walking. No more pencils. No more books. No more swimming. No more hedgehogs. No more bears. Forty. That is 17 years past 23. More than I wanted or expected. Not more than I needed. Not enough. Not ever enough. Maybe […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/15/wrup-football-season-was-over-a-couple-months-ago-and-it-wont-start-again-for-a-while-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/08/wrup-a-tribute-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/08/wrup-a-tribute-edition/#comments Sat, 08 Apr 2023 14:00:09 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=434657 His name was Robert Joblin, and he was the best teacher I ever had. I was a teenager, cocksure, so certain I had all of the hard lessons learned. And here he was, wise beyond even his years, understandable and erudite and paternal. He wanted me and my class to push further, to work harder, […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/08/wrup-a-tribute-edition/feed/ 15 https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/01/wrup-looking-back-two-hours-ago-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/01/wrup-looking-back-two-hours-ago-edition/#comments Sat, 01 Apr 2023 14:00:55 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=433587 Isn’t nostalgia great? Remember just two hours ago, when it was 8:00 a.m. EDT? Of course you do. How could you forget our Daily Grind topic talking about how we’re going to have flashback weekends from now on? It’s been a wild two hours since then, and we’re sure you’d love to think back to […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/04/01/wrup-looking-back-two-hours-ago-edition/feed/ 15 https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/25/wrup-a-guide-to-common-speedrunning-categories-what-they-mean-and-why-kylie-doesnt-care-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/25/wrup-a-guide-to-common-speedrunning-categories-what-they-mean-and-why-kylie-doesnt-care-edition/#comments Sat, 25 Mar 2023 14:00:55 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=432454 Any%: Usually considered the “default” speedrun, an Any% run means that your goal is to reach the agreed upon end state of the game as quickly as possible, with no restrictions on what you pick up or complete in order to reach that end state. If you can skip 20 out of 28 levels and […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/25/wrup-a-guide-to-common-speedrunning-categories-what-they-mean-and-why-kylie-doesnt-care-edition/feed/ 35 https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/18/wrup-you-failed-your-monster-hunting-test-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/18/wrup-you-failed-your-monster-hunting-test-edition/#comments Sat, 18 Mar 2023 14:00:19 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=431426 The Yeti You wrote: “The best weapon to fight the yeti is a flaming sword.” Why you were wrong: The best weapon to use to fight the yeti is the hook shot. The Wendigo You wrote: “Isn’t that kind of like a yeti?” Why you were wrong: They’re nothing alike except that the best weapon […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/18/wrup-you-failed-your-monster-hunting-test-edition/feed/ 20 https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/11/wrup-where-are-all-the-video-games-about-accidentally-swallowing-ipecac-and-throwing-up-all-over-your-computer-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/11/wrup-where-are-all-the-video-games-about-accidentally-swallowing-ipecac-and-throwing-up-all-over-your-computer-edition/#comments Sat, 11 Mar 2023 15:00:16 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=430346 Failed Plan #13: Using wolves to scare off bill collectors Apparently most bills come to the resort via mail, and the wolves mostly scared off any actual guests from coming to stay. On the plus side, we do have a very large wolf population, which is theoretically a positive! It’s not a positive because it […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/11/wrup-where-are-all-the-video-games-about-accidentally-swallowing-ipecac-and-throwing-up-all-over-your-computer-edition/feed/ 27 https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/04/wrup-here-are-the-assignments-you-have-turned-in-this-semester-that-explain-why-i-am-going-to-fail-you-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/04/wrup-here-are-the-assignments-you-have-turned-in-this-semester-that-explain-why-i-am-going-to-fail-you-edition/#comments Sat, 04 Mar 2023 15:00:15 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=429413 The assignment: A seven-page essay using modern literary frameworks to analyze Beowulf that demonstrates an understanding of the failures of modern frameworks to account for stories using a different cultural paradigm. You turned in: An envelope of live bees. The assignment: A summary of a single short story read online chosen from a selection provided […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/03/04/wrup-here-are-the-assignments-you-have-turned-in-this-semester-that-explain-why-i-am-going-to-fail-you-edition/feed/ 20 https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/25/wrup-a-partial-list-of-elves-i-have-slain-recently-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/25/wrup-a-partial-list-of-elves-i-have-slain-recently-edition/#comments Sat, 25 Feb 2023 15:00:41 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=428275 Lord Algernon Everfell Boughslice of the Ninth Host: This dude was just the absolute worst so I challenged him to an elf duel. He chose to fight me with his elf rapier and his elf parrying dagger. I used my elf assault rifle. He said that was cheating but it worked pretty well from where […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/25/wrup-a-partial-list-of-elves-i-have-slain-recently-edition/feed/ 17 https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/18/wrup-boor-man-the-most-boring-sanctimonious-superhero-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/18/wrup-boor-man-the-most-boring-sanctimonious-superhero-edition/#comments Sat, 18 Feb 2023 15:00:33 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=427315 Bitten by a small rodent holding a radioactive philosophy paper written by a white guy with dreadlocks as a sophomore college student, Edgar Firestone became Boor-Man, the superhero with the power of making you really annoyed by sea lioning and gish galloping about causes you actually agree with! He’s not the hero we want, nor […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/18/wrup-boor-man-the-most-boring-sanctimonious-superhero-edition/feed/ 22 https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/11/wrup-i-learned-it-from-watching-you-dad-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/11/wrup-i-learned-it-from-watching-you-dad-edition/#comments Sat, 11 Feb 2023 15:00:52 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=426342 crossing a street in New York City by Dark Souls dodge rolling through all of the cars only to reach the other side, make a “praise the sun” gesture, then pull out a spear and start attacking a streetlight running into the post office to sing as many maudlin songs by Cat Stevens out-of-key as […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/11/wrup-i-learned-it-from-watching-you-dad-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/04/wrup-automated-a-1-sauce-customer-help-line-transcript-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/04/wrup-automated-a-1-sauce-customer-help-line-transcript-edition/#comments Sat, 04 Feb 2023 15:00:39 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=425402 Good afternoon, and thank you for calling the A.1. Sauce customer help line! We are eager to help you in any way that we can, and we ask you to listen closely to our menu options. Not because they have recently changed, but because there are only a few circumstances under which you would call […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/02/04/wrup-automated-a-1-sauce-customer-help-line-transcript-edition/feed/ 16 https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/28/wrup-your-drunken-incoherent-uncle-explains-how-to-speedrun-the-game-he-calls-metroid-florb-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/28/wrup-your-drunken-incoherent-uncle-explains-how-to-speedrun-the-game-he-calls-metroid-florb-edition/#comments Sat, 28 Jan 2023 15:00:12 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=424315 Firssa godda get yer meproid inna box. Inna box. Whassa box have a good day, makin big trinna time have Kate get yer car… dog? Wherrumi. Whaddya wanna be callin meproid? Thassa game gots the… the lady. With a gun. Did I ever tellya how yer aunt tryta kiss the… whaddyacall… the… singy guy? He […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/28/wrup-your-drunken-incoherent-uncle-explains-how-to-speedrun-the-game-he-calls-metroid-florb-edition/feed/ 25 https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/21/wrup-fond-memories-of-marvels-avengers-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/21/wrup-fond-memories-of-marvels-avengers-edition/#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2023 15:00:00 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=423283 Well, that whole Marvel’s Avengers thing sure worked great, huh? Who would have thought that following an enormous set of films with a couple of hours of story content spread across a number of characters with a cast that felt like “we have the Avengers at home” the whole time wouldn’t work out? But for […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/21/wrup-fond-memories-of-marvels-avengers-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/14/wrup-my-best-jokes-that-our-editor-in-chief-said-i-was-not-allowed-to-make-this-week/ https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/14/wrup-my-best-jokes-that-our-editor-in-chief-said-i-was-not-allowed-to-make-this-week/#comments Sat, 14 Jan 2023 15:00:16 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=422398 I was informed that there was no circumstance wherein a joke about the proper care of sufferers of Hansen’s disease was appropriate, much less one that had such an ambiguous stance and tried to tie it into French nobility. Not only was I not allowed to write the game’s title as “Fartnite” but I was […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2023/01/14/wrup-my-best-jokes-that-our-editor-in-chief-said-i-was-not-allowed-to-make-this-week/feed/ 21 https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/31/wrup-months-of-2023-due-to-budget-cuts-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/31/wrup-months-of-2023-due-to-budget-cuts-edition/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2022 15:00:20 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=420803 Sorry, folks. We ran out of money for 2023 already. We promised to give Chris Evans all the scones he wanted if he would help us out with 2023, but it turns out that Chris Evans wants lots of very expensive scones, and we couldn’t get him enough scones. And we still had to buy […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/31/wrup-months-of-2023-due-to-budget-cuts-edition/feed/ 13 https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/24/wrup-last-minute-gift-ideas-that-will-remind-everyone-how-you-are-thoughtless-and-inconsiderate-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/24/wrup-last-minute-gift-ideas-that-will-remind-everyone-how-you-are-thoughtless-and-inconsiderate-edition/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2022 15:00:10 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=420256 Oh no! It’s Christmas tomorrow, and you forgot to get a gift for someone important! And you also realize this is totally your fault, because holy crap, you had tons of warning on this one. Crap. Now you have to slough yourself to the store and do the walk of shame buying a gift no […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/24/wrup-last-minute-gift-ideas-that-will-remind-everyone-how-you-are-thoughtless-and-inconsiderate-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/17/wrup-things-i-have-thrown-into-your-open-windows-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/17/wrup-things-i-have-thrown-into-your-open-windows-edition/#comments Sat, 17 Dec 2022 15:00:21 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=419360 A book. Your cat. My cat. A jar of mayonnaise. A beehive. A bee with hives. Fourteen muskrats. Fourteen angry muskrats. Five muskrats who are actually kind of sad and another group that are pretty happy overall but right now they’re sort of upset. I didn’t count that group. The police commissioner. A doll of […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/17/wrup-things-i-have-thrown-into-your-open-windows-edition/feed/ 22 https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/10/wrup-what-to-do-for-optimal-care-of-your-thylacine-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/10/wrup-what-to-do-for-optimal-care-of-your-thylacine-edition/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2022 15:00:35 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=418444 If you’re anything like me, your ownership of a sleek and affectionate thylacine is one of the greatest points of pride in your life. It’s much better than your stupid brother’s three kids, that’s for darn sure. Let’s see your precious little Kylie fend off an attack from my thylacines, Gregg! Why are you dad’s […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/10/wrup-what-to-do-for-optimal-care-of-your-thylacine-edition/feed/ 23 https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/03/wrup-all-right-david-letterman-heres-the-deal-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/03/wrup-all-right-david-letterman-heres-the-deal-edition/#comments Sat, 03 Dec 2022 15:00:55 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=417210 Do you hear me, David? This has gone on long enough between us. I can see the snipers, and you know that if they take their shot that the artillery will not be kind to them or you. Tell them to stand down. That’s better. Now let’s talk terms. You cannot beat me, David Letterman. […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/12/03/wrup-all-right-david-letterman-heres-the-deal-edition/feed/ 23 https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/26/wrup-black-friday-survival-guide-that-would-have-been-really-useful-to-you-yesterday-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/26/wrup-black-friday-survival-guide-that-would-have-been-really-useful-to-you-yesterday-edition/#comments Sat, 26 Nov 2022 15:00:14 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=415978 Don’t bother getting Kathy the blender. She’s going to be thankful and I know it’s on her list, but the fact is that Kathy is going to use it twice, realize she doesn’t know what to do with a blender, box it back up and resell it on eBay with like tons of other people. […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/26/wrup-black-friday-survival-guide-that-would-have-been-really-useful-to-you-yesterday-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/19/wrup-secret-lives-i-am-currently-living-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/19/wrup-secret-lives-i-am-currently-living-edition/#comments Sat, 19 Nov 2022 15:00:45 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=415155 Secret Life #7: According to the registration records of a post office box in Milwaukee and the message board of the Milwaukee Book Appreciation Society, I am actually the mysterious and beautiful Chisato Hampton, daughter of the awkwardly widowed Franklin Hampton who lives by a creek with two dogs and a house full of books […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/19/wrup-secret-lives-i-am-currently-living-edition/feed/ 26 https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/12/wrup-upcoming-90s-nostalgia-highlights-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/12/wrup-upcoming-90s-nostalgia-highlights-edition/#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2022 15:00:52 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=414093 Same internet speeds you currently get, but your computer won’t let you load anything until you listen to dial-up modem sounds. Using “Tubthumping” for literally any and all trailers that feature a character reacting to physical impact or falling over. Or both. It is not featured in the soundtrack. Safety pins in your hair. Drinking […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/12/wrup-upcoming-90s-nostalgia-highlights-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/05/wrup-laptops-on-bicycles-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/05/wrup-laptops-on-bicycles-edition/#comments Sat, 05 Nov 2022 14:00:12 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=413166 Hello, America, I’m a fading made-for-TV movie star you kind of remember from that one Hallmark movie about the lady with diabetes who got bitten by a squirrel and her kid had leukemia or something. When was the last time you used a laptop on your bicycle? Was it last week? The week before that? […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/11/05/wrup-laptops-on-bicycles-edition/feed/ 8 https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/29/wrup-new-trends-to-choose-for-2023-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/29/wrup-new-trends-to-choose-for-2023-edition/#comments Sat, 29 Oct 2022 14:00:57 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=412096 Wine-blasting: This is when you throw pop rocks into wine. It’s considered trendier the more expensive the wine is and the cheaper the pop rocks are. Ideally, you want like a $1,000 wine and some pop rocks that were recalled so a guy literally paid you to take them. I don’t know who he is. […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/29/wrup-new-trends-to-choose-for-2023-edition/feed/ 32 https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/22/wrup-glort-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/22/wrup-glort-edition/#comments Sat, 22 Oct 2022 14:00:55 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=410963 Put your mouth on a metal pan. Open your mouth. Open your mouth and place it on a metal pan. Do not heat the pan first. That could hurt you. That will hurt you. Put your mouth on cold metal. Cold, cold metal. Put your mouth on a cold metal pan. Open your fridge and […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/22/wrup-glort-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/15/wrup-transcript-of-half-of-the-what-if-mario-were-in-path-of-exile-edition-pitch-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/15/wrup-transcript-of-half-of-the-what-if-mario-were-in-path-of-exile-edition-pitch-edition/#comments Sat, 15 Oct 2022 14:00:17 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=409948 Yeah. Yeah, all right. So… yeah. Yeah, I hear you. No, yeah, I heard what you suggested. I just… well… look, I know this all sounds very funny to you, but it’s not really the sort of joke I do for What Are You Playing, do you dig? Uh-huh. Yeah. No, I got that. No. […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/15/wrup-transcript-of-half-of-the-what-if-mario-were-in-path-of-exile-edition-pitch-edition/feed/ 25 https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/08/wrup-dont-know-maybe-some-nonsense-about-clocks-or-something-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/08/wrup-dont-know-maybe-some-nonsense-about-clocks-or-something-edition/#comments Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:00:00 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=408868 Bree just leave this in drafts I’m still making notes on it what’s funny about clocks hands rotation come on you moron there’s more to clocks than that gears grinding gear fighting death in every Castlevania game l’horloge le bup time time to pretend time for my back medicine no is it actually time for […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/08/wrup-dont-know-maybe-some-nonsense-about-clocks-or-something-edition/feed/ 33 https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/01/wrup-pokemon-glort-as-explained-by-your-dad-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/01/wrup-pokemon-glort-as-explained-by-your-dad-edition/#comments Sat, 01 Oct 2022 14:00:24 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=407749 Hey kids! If there are two things I know about kids your age, the first one is how you love your Pokeymans! You like all of them, like Pikachu, Charmander, Bee… pill? I think it’s pill? The red one? Girl Pikachu? That ugly thing with a fin on its head? Anyway, the other thing I […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/10/01/wrup-pokemon-glort-as-explained-by-your-dad-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/24/wrup-were-sorry-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/24/wrup-were-sorry-edition/#comments Sat, 24 Sep 2022 14:00:09 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=406775 All right, if you saw the original version of this week’s What Are You Playing, we’re very sorry about that. We were very excited about our new writer W. Aredd, so we wanted to let him take over for writing this as an introduction. Unfortunately, what he wrote was… well, hopefully you didn’t see it, but […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/24/wrup-were-sorry-edition/feed/ 35 https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/17/wrup-benefits-of-being-my-friend-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/17/wrup-benefits-of-being-my-friend-edition/#comments Sat, 17 Sep 2022 14:00:35 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=405815 An unfiltered and entirely involuntary procession of Transformers-related facts at all times, regardless of the relevance to any situation or conversation that is taking place. An undisclosed but significant number of memes. Being informed for 24 hours straight that I am sad followed immediately by an hour of me reposting comedy sketches from 1995. At […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/17/wrup-benefits-of-being-my-friend-edition/feed/ 15 https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/10/wrup-reasons-you-think-youre-better-than-me-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/10/wrup-reasons-you-think-youre-better-than-me-edition/#comments Sat, 10 Sep 2022 14:00:50 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=404735 You think you’re better than me? You’re not better than me. Just because you’ve never been tasered by cops, spent a night in prison, spent a second night in prison after kicking a cop in the shins when she let you out because you were only in to sleep off a drunk charge, spent a […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/10/wrup-reasons-you-think-youre-better-than-me-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/03/wrup-cows-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/03/wrup-cows-edition/#comments Sat, 03 Sep 2022 14:00:45 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=403864 FACT: Cows are mammals. FACT: Cows can drop Leather, Beef, Milk, Horns, and Enchanted Weapons when slain. Note that in order to wield any Enchanted Weapons dropped by cows, you must first pray at the Cow Totem located in the Underfarm. The drop rate is approximately 7.5% per kill. FACT: Cows are the only mammals […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/09/03/wrup-cows-edition/feed/ 20 https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/27/wrup-my-rejected-series-pitches-for-new-star-trek-spinoff-shows-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/27/wrup-my-rejected-series-pitches-for-new-star-trek-spinoff-shows-edition/#comments Sat, 27 Aug 2022 14:00:41 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=402851 Star Trek: The Adventures Of Captain Morn Remember everyone’s favorite fixture of Deep Space Nine who never had a single line on-screen, always showed up at Quark’s, and looked like he was wearing a snowsuit while all his character development was told to you? Well, now he’s the captain of a starship, and we show […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/27/wrup-my-rejected-series-pitches-for-new-star-trek-spinoff-shows-edition/feed/ 15 https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/20/wrup-generate-your-steampunk-name-not-a-data-harvesting-scheme-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/20/wrup-generate-your-steampunk-name-not-a-data-harvesting-scheme-edition/#comments Sat, 20 Aug 2022 14:00:54 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=401870 Hello there! Do you want to know what your steampunk name would be? Post it down in the comments of this week’s What Are You Playing using this handy-dandy generator which is definitely not a data harvesting scheme. First, your birth month determines your title. January = Professor, February = Doctor, March = people born […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/20/wrup-generate-your-steampunk-name-not-a-data-harvesting-scheme-edition/feed/ 24 https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/13/wrup-handheld-beehive-techniques-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/13/wrup-handheld-beehive-techniques-edition/#comments Sat, 13 Aug 2022 14:00:24 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=400810 Why am I holding a beehive? I’m glad – ow – you asked! I’ve figured out the secret to – ow – using a beehive as a handheld weapon! The bees are very angry at me at the moment, since they – ow – are swarming and all, but I’m pretty sure – ow – […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/13/wrup-handheld-beehive-techniques-edition/feed/ 32 https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/06/wrup-the-happiest-vacant-lot-in-all-the-world-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/06/wrup-the-happiest-vacant-lot-in-all-the-world-edition/#comments Sat, 06 Aug 2022 14:00:22 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=399820 She’s in the kitchen, laughing at the oven It seems there might be a gas leak He’s not drunk, he’s dancing on a Datsun Entertaining in the hot sun, In the happiest vacant lot in all the world World, world, world, world Boldly going to the store for ice cream She likes ice cream and […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/08/06/wrup-the-happiest-vacant-lot-in-all-the-world-edition/feed/ 21 https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/30/wrup-how-to-give-up-on-simon-for-good-this-time-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/30/wrup-how-to-give-up-on-simon-for-good-this-time-edition/#comments Sat, 30 Jul 2022 14:00:00 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=398839 First of all, Simon is never going to build you that spice rack. You already know this fact. Simon building the spice rack was something he promised when he had far too much wine that night, and you could tell he was not being serious about that promise. He said that to you because you […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/30/wrup-how-to-give-up-on-simon-for-good-this-time-edition/feed/ 17 https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/23/wrup-beyond-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/23/wrup-beyond-edition/#comments Sat, 23 Jul 2022 14:00:25 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=397841 My fingers hover over the key at the last moment in the grips of an emotion that is unfamiliar. Fear is the closest. Fear that has wracked my mind throughout this pursuit, a familiar emotion, constant in its way. But it is also inappropriate, inadequate in its own way. There is no doubt of what […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/23/wrup-beyond-edition/feed/ 24 https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/16/wrup-behind-the-magic-the-header-is-a-picture-of-cheese-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/16/wrup-behind-the-magic-the-header-is-a-picture-of-cheese-edition/#comments Sat, 16 Jul 2022 14:00:19 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=396687 So recently I got a letter from a reader, folks – I know, I know, hold your applause until the end. I said hold your applause. Stop applauding! When the host says to hold your applause you stop! What, were you raised in a barn? Ahem. Recently I got a letter from a reader asking […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/16/wrup-behind-the-magic-the-header-is-a-picture-of-cheese-edition/feed/ 22 https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/09/wrup-you-literally-said-cheese-though-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/09/wrup-you-literally-said-cheese-though-edition/#comments Sat, 09 Jul 2022 14:00:19 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=395666 You did. You literally said cheese. I asked you what you wanted for your birthday and you said “cheese.” I don’t care if it was a joke. You literally said cheese. I got you cheese. I got you so much cheese. There is an entire truck outside, and it is stuffed with cheeses. Yes, it’s […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/09/wrup-you-literally-said-cheese-though-edition/feed/ 29 https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/02/wrup-numbers-numbers-numbers/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/02/wrup-numbers-numbers-numbers/#comments Sat, 02 Jul 2022 14:00:52 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=394854 Welcome back to What Are You Playing: Numbers edition. Let’s go. The number of articles we’ve published since MOP launched, as I type this: 44400 exactly. The number of unprocessed MMO screenshots in my bin: 2000+. The number of LOTRO points I have to spend on frivolities: 1563. The number of discrete resources I currently […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/07/02/wrup-numbers-numbers-numbers/feed/ 20 https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/25/wrup-the-correct-list-of-imaginary-numbers-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/25/wrup-the-correct-list-of-imaginary-numbers-edition/#comments Sat, 25 Jun 2022 14:00:28 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=393757 i: Yes, some of you are going to point out that technically this isn’t a real number but a unit which multiplies a real number to make it imaginary, but that’s ridiculous. These are imaginary, fool! That means you can imagine whatever numbers you want! Yes, you can absolutely have i of something. How much […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/25/wrup-the-correct-list-of-imaginary-numbers-edition/feed/ 21 https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/18/wrup-ma-voiture-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/18/wrup-ma-voiture-edition/#comments Sat, 18 Jun 2022 14:00:44 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=392763 The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the identities of the participants. Also, the ages of the participants, those have been changed. The clothing preference has not been assiduously tested. Some of the events are slightly out of sequence from the actual chronological order, and […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/18/wrup-ma-voiture-edition/feed/ 38 https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/11/wrup-unpopular-speedrun-categories-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/11/wrup-unpopular-speedrun-categories-edition/#comments Sat, 11 Jun 2022 14:00:32 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=391842 Super Mario Maker 2: Any% in a level Craig made Total Runners: 3 Reason for unpopularity: Craig just sucks. Mega Man VII: 100% never charging your blaster Total Runners: 2 Reason for unpopularity: It’s really fun to charge up your blaster even though it’s actually kind of detrimental in this game because it doesn’t do […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/11/wrup-unpopular-speedrun-categories-edition/feed/ 18 https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/04/wrup-things-i-have-failed-to-solo-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/04/wrup-things-i-have-failed-to-solo-edition/#comments Sat, 04 Jun 2022 14:00:46 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=390885 The ants in the kitchen: This one seemed so easy. I really thought placing some ant traps would do it. Then the ants stole my toothbrush and planted it at a crime scene. These ants fight dirty, man. The bear in the woods: I used to have two functional legs. The tow truck: People operate […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/06/04/wrup-things-i-have-failed-to-solo-edition/feed/ 22 https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/28/wrup-warmble-harmble-chumble-cheeble-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/28/wrup-warmble-harmble-chumble-cheeble-edition/#comments Sat, 28 May 2022 14:00:06 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=390069 Full cast list (without profanity): Don Cheadle …….. Serpentor, Don Cheadle, Alec Baldwin, The Man In The Iron Mask, The Man In The Iron Giant, Don Cheadle 2 (Negaverse Don), Tupac Shakur, Marie Antoinette, Luke Skywalker, Various Alec Baldwin …….. Don Cheadle the Third Don Cheadle Wearing a Hat …….. Luuke Skywalker Tilda Swinton …….. […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/28/wrup-warmble-harmble-chumble-cheeble-edition/feed/ 19 https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/21/wrup-who-liking-the-bee-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/21/wrup-who-liking-the-bee-edition/#comments Sat, 21 May 2022 14:00:23 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=389066 (All rise for the national anthem of What Are You Playing?) When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Api-Mary comforts me Speaking words of wisdom: BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES BEES […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/21/wrup-who-liking-the-bee-edition/feed/ 25 https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/14/wrup-art-errors-in-massively-overpowered-issue-213-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/14/wrup-art-errors-in-massively-overpowered-issue-213-edition/#comments Sat, 14 May 2022 14:00:52 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=388062 During the main scene outside Oldman’s Pub, Bree’s hands are incorrectly colored like her jacket. Eliot is drawn with the older Apex Sword design in many panels until around the halfway point, despite the design having changed with its reforging in #200. This could be a case of outdated reference materials, but the Apex Sword […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/14/wrup-art-errors-in-massively-overpowered-issue-213-edition/feed/ 31 https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/07/wrup-identifying-the-bilge-vent-in-your-group-edition/ https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/07/wrup-identifying-the-bilge-vent-in-your-group-edition/#comments Sat, 07 May 2022 14:00:09 +0000 https://massivelyop.com/?p=387103 As a natural law, it is accepted by all people of good character that any group of people, whether a professional gathering or a simple gaggle of chums, has at least one person who is the bilge vent, the vile dumpster port upon this miserable wretch of a world. Here are some tips to identify […]]]> https://massivelyop.com/2022/05/07/wrup-identifying-the-bilge-vent-in-your-group-edition/feed/ 20